Who sent the monster's?.

So here we go,let's talk about Monster's,everyone likes a good ole monster under the bed story!or not.
I'm visualising Monster's Inc, the movie the one my children have watched and enjoyed. Definitely not like the real monster's that I have encountered.I wish they were all like the characters out of the movie,but no they aren't.
So "Who sent the monster's"? A theological debate?No thanks!.
I love the mystery of the not knowing it all. I only no  love it because trying to work it out really made my brain and heart hurt. I had so many "monster's" in my world I didn't know where they began and I ended.
A little snapshot into my story. I felt like in my life I had become my own mystery,I was born into a situation full of it. I felt like a little girl on a mission being determined not to loose my breath,especially to the monster's.


I suddenly woke up in a psychiatric ward locked up , literally. At the age of 24years old , my husband and I were saving madly for our first home, working  and raising our first child who was almost 2years old. My brain and heart snapped,  seemingly the monster's had won!
I knew this was a war, heaven was calling my name. My King had been preparing me for this moment all along , I wasn't hearing voices. I heard the Voice, the one who formed me in my mothers womb and KNEW me. His voice was recognisable , i'd heard it before ,it carried direction and it always carried truth , not my truth but heavens truth. I heard ,"You aren't crazy just sad". I also heard"No -one can hear you.".....(monster's).
So I started writing until I would fall asleep or my hand hurt too much!!! I needed a plan, I needed my own arsonary.
The weapons I chose were ,Mystery,Keys, a sword and Fire.
To be continued.....
Blessings,

Lisa.

Psalm 139.
Lord,you have examined me.
You Know when I sit down and when I get up.
You know where I go and where I lie down.
You know well everything I do.
Lord,even before I say a word,you already know what I am going to say.
You are all around me-in front and in back.
You have put your hand on me.
It is more than I can understand.
Where can I go to get away from your Spirit?
Where can I run from you?
If I go up to the skies,you are there.
If I lie down where the dead are,you are there.
If I rise with the sun in the east, and settle in the west beyond the sea,
even there you would guide me.
With your right hand you would hold me.
I could say,"The darkness will hide me.
The light around me will turn into night".
But even the darkness  is not dark to you
The night is as light as the day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
You made my whole being.
You formed me in my mother's body.
I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way.
What you have done is wonderful.
I know this very well.
You saw my bones being formed as I took shape in my mother's boy.
When I was put together there,you saw my body as it was formed.
All the days planned for me were written in-your book before I was one day old.
God your thoughts are precious to me.
They are so many!
If I could count them ,they would be more than all the grains of sand.
When I wake up,
I am still with you.
God I wish you would kill the wicked!
Get away from me you murderers!
These men say evil things about you.
Your enemies use your name thoughtlessly.
Lord,I hate those who hate you.
I hate those who rise up against you.
I feel only hate for them.
They are my enemies.
God examine me and know my heart.
Test my thoughts.
See if there is any bad thing in me.

Lead me in the way you set long ago.